Kindness Empathy & Inclusion on ScoutmasterCG Archive

Bullies in Scouting

Fri, 01 Sep 2017 00:00:00 +0000

Bullying is a tough nut to crack.

Bullying behavior satisfies a bully’s needs on a primal, instinctual level; a level so basic that they often do not realize they are bullying.

Bullies can’t necessarily be talked or shamed out of bullying, may not respond for long to regular disciplinary measures (denial of privileges or activities); in fact adult intervention can lead to even more bullying. What, then, is an appropriate response to bullying? It begins by understanding the causes, forms and motivations of bullying. An excellent article on bullying at Wikipedia is a good place to start as are the resources at bullying.org .

Interview With My Bully

Mon, 22 May 2017 00:00:00 +0000

If we want to end bullying we need to understand it.

Author Steve Almond found the boy that bullied him in eighth grade and asked him why.

Their conversation helped me appreciate the complexity of bullying from the unusual point of view; that of the bully; Sean Lynden (the bully): ” One other thing I should mention, there are different kinds of bullying and harassment at every different age. But you would not be the first person to accuse me of verbal or mental bullying.

Bedwetting and Scouts

Sat, 23 Apr 2016 00:00:00 +0000

Every so often I hear from a Scouter or parent about a Scout who has a problem with bedwetting. It goes without saying that I am not a medical expert, but I did a little research and several sources agree an estimated 3.75 -5.25 million boys (and a smaller number of girls) in the United States have a medical condition known as nocturnal enuresis (NE) or involuntary urination during sleep, commonly called bedwetting. At those numbers NE is one of the most common pediatric health issues. Once considered a psychological problem NE is most likely caused by a developmental delay in the bladder that children eventually outgrow.

Thirsty?

Sat, 19 Sep 2015 00:00:00 +0000

Several thirsty people stood around a table that held a glass of water. “That’s a vetro di acqua” said the first, pointing to the glass, “it must be picked up with the left hand.” “No, it is a verre de l’eau!” said another, " I have a book that says it’s a verre de l’eau and that it should only be touched with the right hand" “But my book says it’s a glass wasser” said the third, " and it must not be touched." “Well I am sure that it is a glass of water”, the forth said, “and I too have a book that proves it must be held with both hands beyond a shadow of a doubt!” As they argued another thirsty person joined the circle, picked up the glass and drank the water. Does it matter what we call a glass or water so long as we can drink? Does it matter what our sacred books call a drink or descibe how it must be dunk so long as thirst can be satisfied? If we find ourselves arguing over who is right while people go thirsty perhaps we have chosen to argue over the wrong things.

Inclusive or Exclusive?

Sat, 31 Jan 2015 00:00:00 +0000

A good friend in scouting who served as a scoutmaster and camp director for almost thirty years once pointed out to me that Scouting was inclusive, not exclusive. His point was that if 100 boys showed up on your doorstep wanting to join scouts one welcomes them and then figures out how to work with them, period.

Their membership is not based on their finances, on their parent’s participation or anything other than showing up. They get to do everything that any other scout does regardless. If we have set a maximum enrollment, if we require parents to be involved, if we expect every scout to pay every dollar due; we are “preaching to the choir”. We need the boys who can’t afford to be scouts, whose parents just don’t get it because they are the ones who most need us.

Grey Areas

Mon, 25 Aug 2014 00:00:00 +0000

Sometimes at summer camp, or a camporee I have taken offense, or witnessed others taking offense with the content of some skits or songs, or some similar public expression.

I have never vetted campfire skits, nor really had any reason to be embarrassed by the content of the ones our Scouts have chosen or made up on their own. They seem to have an innate sense of appropriateness. When I encounter something that I find personally offensive in a campfire program, speech, dining hall program, or even a chapel service I attempt to first allow the anger or distress to subside.

Does Every Scout Have "Special" Needs?

Fri, 22 Aug 2014 00:00:00 +0000

Don’t all of our Scouts have special needs? Each has an individual way of seeing things, individual talents and shortcomings, in one sense don’t all of us have some special need? The sport of Scouting is discovering how to best deliver the promises of Scouting to Scouts with different needs. It’s not so much about “special” needs, it’s about individual needs. When we throw quotes around “special” it’s understood we are referring to someone with a perceived deficit and requires ‘special’ assistance.

Jay's Story

Fri, 01 Mar 2013 00:00:00 +0000

I asked Jay to write about his experiences in Scouting because I think it’s important to get to know and understand each other, that young men like Jay are not new to Scouting, that they have always been there – Clarke To all my fellow Scouters – We are all engaged in a conversation about whether or not to keep a policy in place at the national level that keeps gay people from active service in Scouting, as either adults or Scouts.

Autism and Scouting

Sun, 20 Jan 2013 00:00:00 +0000

Karen and John Krejcha head up Autism Empowerment and Autism and Scouting to promote Acceptance, Enrichment, Inspiration and Empowerment within the Autism and Asperger communities. They serve all ages and all abilities and seek to improve and enhance the lives of individuals and families impacted by autism. John volunteers as a Tiger Cub Den Leader in Pack 462 and assistant Scoutmaster in Troop 462 where his sons are a Tiger Cub Scout and Star Scout respectively.

Cruel Kids and Tribalism

Thu, 20 Dec 2012 00:00:00 +0000

Dr. Steven Parker at Web Md writes about childhood memories of two schoolmates: In my defense, I wasn’t overtly mean to Billie or to Fred. But – to my eternal shame – neither was I at all friendly.

Never did I tell my friends to cool it with the cruel taunts.

Never did I attempt to get to know either of them.

Never did I empathize with the hell they were going through.

Scouting Cares

Mon, 26 Nov 2012 00:00:00 +0000

No organization cares about you.

Organizations aren’t capable of this … People, on the other hand, are perfectly capable of caring. It’s part of being a human. It’s only when organizational demands and regulations get in the way that the caring fades. From Seth Godin.

Serving organizational interests without loosing focus on the individual is a constant struggle.

Organizational demands and regulations must be flexible enough to answer individual needs without loosing organizational identity or purpose.

Transcendent Values

Fri, 26 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000

To stay afloat organizations , like ships on the ocean, are designed to be reasonably impenetrable and inflexible.

Safety and stability is important to ships and organizations but that same safety and stability create drag when it comes to evolution and change. This drag is commensurate with the size and scope of the organization. The bigger the ship the longer it takes to turn. The ocean of culture in is wider, deeper, more fluid and changeable than the organizational ships that travel over them.

Don’t add fuel to the fire - A Scoutmaster Minute

Thu, 11 Oct 2012 00:00:00 +0000

How do you put out a fire?

Adding more fuel is not the answer. How do you deal with anger, resentment, misunderstandings, conflicts and arguments?

These are natural reactions that everyone feels some time or another. It’s not wrong to feel angry, frustrated or resentful – it’s how we react to these feelings that matters.

Anger can actually feel a lot like fire. If we react to anger by saying or doing angry things it’s just like adding fuel to the fire. Fire and water are opposites. Bad feelings and right actions are opposites. We can’t douse a fire by adding fuel to it and we can’t resolve bad feelings with bad reactions. If you get burned what do you do?

Kids Need to do Less

Tue, 28 Jun 2011 00:00:00 +0000

Anne-Marie Slaughter is the mother of two adolescent kids and a Professor of Politics and International Affairs at Princeton University. She’s concerned that we may be killing the skills required for innovation by over-programming our children: … The jam packed, highly structured days of elite children are carefully calculated to create Ivy League-worthy resumes. They reinforce habits of discipline and conformity, programming remarkably well-rounded and often superb young people who can play near concert-quality violin, speak two languages, volunteer in their communities and get straight A’s.

A Prespective on 'Difficult' Scouts

Thu, 29 May 2008 00:00:00 +0000

I have had my share of ‘difficult’ Scouts.

Behavior, attitude and physical barriers are not all that uncommon.

Scout aged boys may have any number of difficulties that call for understanding, tolerant and compassionate leadership.

Scoutmasters must educate themselves to meet the challenge of working with boys who are challenged in one way or another. We must especially guard against the isolating and excluding tendencies that are almost always a reaction from ‘normal’ boys and adults.

Scout's Study Concludes Youth are Doing Well

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 00:00:00 +0000

A study released by Scout Association in the United Kingdom concludes that young people: Just want to have fun and family and friends… and make a difference Regard family members as the most positive influences in their lives Feel that members of youth/sports clubs are better citizens Want to be listened to Who are members of clubs feel valued and valuable Generally feel good about themselves Feel they are in control of their lives and feel resilient Trust their intuition and instincts to decide right from wrong The study reports: We do not pretend that the results of this research demonstrate anything revolutionary.

Hazing

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 00:00:00 +0000

Haze \Haze, v. t.

To harass by exacting unnecessary, disagreeable, or difficult work.
To harass or annoy by playing abusive or shameful tricks upon; to humiliate by practical jokes; — used esp. of college students; as, the sophomores hazed a freshman A Scoutmaster will do no greater service to his troop than to drive out every vestige of hazing. This includes initiations, teasing, compelling Scouts to humiliate themselves in any way.

Michael - One Special Scout

Fri, 11 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

Michael turned out to be a special Scout in more ways than one.

I would like to say that I had no reservations when I read an email from a family relocating to our town; their two boys were in Scouting and would be looking for a new troop; the older one had Downs Syndrome.

I remembered how cruel my peers had been to anyone who wasn’t ‘normal’.

I was concerned with how our scouts would react; I shouldn’t have been. At a Patrol Leader’s Council I mentioned that two boys would be visiting and that one had Downs Syndrome, the scouts had no reaction whatsoever. No concerns, nothing remarkable.

Make Good or Make Way

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

I have known a troop who has a sign posted in their meeting place that reads “make good or make way”. They send letters to scouts who don’t attend regularly threatening them with removal from the troop. Part of scouting is dealing with our prodigal sons.

These are the scouts who dissapear from time to time without any explaination. When they reappear we do best to follow the model of the father in the parable and recieve them with open arms and kill the fatted calf, not drawing attention to their shortcomings in a letter. This doesn’t sound fair to the scouts who attend regularly and it didn’t sound fair to the faithful son in the parable. But the father replied: “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” ( Luke 15:11-32)

Self Evident Truth

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 00:00:00 +0000

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” A bold statement, one we continue to struggle to attain. The widest association we share is that of citizenship. The sub groups we form may be as exclusive or inclusive as the membership of the group chooses. Law and precedent has settled the question that Americans may form exclusive associations and societies that promote a particular way of thinking.