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Mental Health Awareness, moms and summer camp
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Cliff Jacobsen’s Expedition Canoeing School
Download Mentalhealth.PDF.pdf (81.5K)
National Mental Health Information Center
A mother’s take on summer camp
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Mark, RE: Last Story.
That’s real Scouting right there. That’s how it should always happen. The people benefitting the most from that situation were the three older Scouts. They “get it”.
And last night one of those mom’s showed up and told us that her son wants out. He’s sort of allergic but basically normal. Very reserved and Dad’s never around (he’s too busy). She has decided that she doesn’t want him to grow up so it’s ok with her. My opinion.
I work for boy’s parents. Not really for the boys, at least when they first come in. Scouting is about helping parents achieve their goals for their sons. Eleven year old boys have no goals 🙂 If a parent has goal for where they want their sons to go, then they will work very hard to achieve that. I’m not talking about goals like making their son into a major league pitcher. I’m talking about life goals. Education. Safety instruction. Survivial skills. Physical coordination. Social skills. Leadership.
Some moms cannot look forward seven years and picture their little boy (6ft 1in tall) walking out of the house and driving away to work or college. They just can’t do it. But it takes that kind of goal setting to get many young men through what’s about to happen to them. So many crash and burn in so many ways. Sometimes a young man seems ok. Job, marriage maybe, etc. But really, down inside, they just never got it. So much potential wasted. Scouting is one of the few places that young men will meet certain challenges and conquer them in such a was as to be lasting and edifying.
I’m sort of wound up just now and could probably go on for quite a while, but it’s Clarke’s blog 🙂 YMMV
Another classic podcast ….
Responding to what Larry said, although some moms may not want their sons to grow up, it is precisely these boys that benefit the most from being away from home a week without mom. I think it also is exactly the case that the issue here is “if mom will survive.” Unfortunately in today’s society, some moms are so involved and invested in everything there child does, they kind of don’t know what to do with themselves except to worry the entire time.
Yes – absolutely, the best path is to have a “wingwoman” who is going to step in and commiserate. Since we are men, there is no way we are qualified to understand separating from a child that the mom has given birth to. Just ask a mom – she will tell you. Unbeknown to me, last year my wingwoman set up a mom’s night at her house on the Wednesday of summer camp for some of the moms to get together, have some wine, and get over the hump. Brilliant.
On homesickness – We had one case where a boy (first year scout) was getting multiple letters a day from home, from grandma, from sister, from aunt – almost from the time we arrived at camp. Every day, he had at least three items. For the first couple days it was fine, but after that it just made the boy homesick. He would sit by himself, reading the letters and holding back tears.
The next year, even after talking to the Dad about how the flood of mail was causing more sadness, the mail still came, although this time is was mostly just from mom. When we ASMs picked up the mail, we just kept his to the side, and gave him the pile on the Friday before going home. The kid had a great time, and was always too busy having fun to be homesick.
Last story – again last year we had a first year scout that got homesick really bad on about Thursday. He was just continuously crying, and balled up on his cot in his tent. Three of the older scouts took up the task, and would walk with him all around the camp and just talk about stuff. It really helped to be moving, and I cannot describe how proud I am of the compassion and sense of duty the older scouts showed in making sure this kid got through it. This is one of my all time favorite ASM moments. Oh, and the homesick boy, he is hooked for life. He has not missed one troop meeting or camping trip all year.
Hee hee. Take a shower every day!? Brush teeth every day!???? Bwah ha ha. Funny guy. We try to get the Scouts to take at least one shower on Friday before we go home 🙂
First time I went to camp I never opened my suitcase. Not once. That was nine year old church camp. I never felt at home on the range. My first two summers at boy scout camp we in a provisional troop with a 16 year old SM. Those were the grow up or die years 🙂 Anyway, I didn’t develop a lot sensitivity to those kinds of issues.
I’m not very good at soothing mom’s quivering worries. Either she wants her son to grow up or she doesn’t. It’s a decision. I’ve always had an ASM who is a lot more sensitive that I am. The younger Scouts always go to him. Older Scouts always come to me about leadership, problems and outdoor stuff. You are probably much more sensitive than I am. I even have letters of documentation about how insensitive, inflexible, indifferent intransigent and rigid I am. Sort of like a pot left on the range too long and then boils over. Oh well.
The goto mom is a great idea. I sort of used my ASM for that, but I like the idea of moms talking to moms. There is a whole range of ideas you could use to make this work. Sort of like where the dear and the antelope play.
Keep the good stuff coming.