Your Kids Aren't All That Bad

Certainly one of the tasks of parenthood is challenging our children to realize their full potential yet we shouldn’t judge our children, nor or Scouts by comparing their achievements with those of others. We are individuals, we have their own strengths and weaknesses. When tempers rise, when the inevitable conflicts and disappointments land on our doorstep it can be useful to step back and gain a sense of proportion and perspective. If you are reading this it’s likely your child is among the most privileged and prosperous on the face of the earth. They have three meals a day, they are able to go to school, they live in a stable society, they have all they need materially and more. Our children survive childhood diseases in numbers much of the rest of the world can only wish for. If you are reading this your child may be in the top percentile of the most privileged and prosperous. They are good (if not great) students; they have incredible technological resources at their fingertips (yes they are texting with those fingertips and that confuses a lot of us), they are Scouts – and have the all the advantages that implies.

Adolescent arguments, stresses and difficulties are frustrating, sub-par grades here and there are vexing, but these are small potatoes in the grand scheme of things. My heart breaks for the disappointments many parents have to confront in their own children; addictions, trouble with the law, failure at school, tragic consequences of all kinds. Some of us have had to overcome pretty grim circumstances but, hey, we’re still here, right? Step back and look at your children – go ahead and compare them to the neighbors if you must – but widen your circle of comparison to the whole world. When you look at them in this light your kids aren’t all that bad are they? Sure, you’ll keep after them you’ll encourage them, discipline them, you’ll have some very high expectations. But somewhere in our hearts and minds we need to acknowledge we have it pretty good. Give them a hug (if they’ll let you). They’ll wonder why – you can try to explain but you really don’t have to – somehow they will understand.