Things Overheard at Scout Camp

Scout leaders hear lots of interesting things over the course of a normal day (if there is such a thing) at Scout camp. Many times even the most contradictory versions of many of these phrases are heard minutes apart. Have you seen my (handbook, merit badge book, wallet, towel, water bottle)? You do know where the shower house is, don’t you? (This is, You are) the worst (counselor, patrol, troop, senior patrol leader, patrol leader, scoutmaster, tent, bunk, breakfast, lunch, dinner) I have ever had!

Someone stole my (handbook, merit badge book, wallet, towel, water bottle)!

I hate (snakes, really big spiders, really big beetles)! Pull up your socks.

I hate the (dust, mud, heat, cold, sun, rain)! Why do you (eat, talk, act) like that? Did you pack any other clothes? Do you do (eat, talk, act) like that at home? Did you bring soap? DO NOT (eat, talk, act) like that! When was the last time you (washed your hands, went to the latrine, changed your socks, cleaned up your tent)? Cool – look at the (snakes, really big spiders, really big beetles)! Have you (washed your hands, went to the latrine, changed your socks, cleaned up your tent) this week? When are we going home? You need to (wash your hands, go to the latrine, change your socks, clean up your tent) right this minute!

I love the (dust, mud, heat, cold, sun, rain)! This is the worst (week, day, hour, minute, meal) of my entire life!

I lost my (handbook, merit badge book, wallet, towel, water bottle)!

Waiter?

Exactly what do you mean by ‘waiter’? Have you ever used a (broom, shovel, rake) before? We have to go home already!?! (This is, You are) the best (counselor, patrol, troop, senior patrol leader, patrol leader, scoutmaster, tent, bunk, breakfast, lunch, dinner) I have ever had! Tuck in your shirt. This is the best (week, day, hour, minute, meal) of my entire life!