The Scoutmaster's Son

Scoutmasters usually have a son who is a scout in their troop. A parent with a wider role of authority over a group of children including their own offspring may encounter some difficult situations.

I know that one of the most difficult years I spent as a Scoutmaster was when my step-son was our Senior Patrol Leader.

Maintaining the parent-child and scout leader-scout relationship successfully requires thoughtful preparation Managing the scout/parent relationship is your responsibility. Call on your adult perspective, experience and maturity in an attempt to understand and remain mindful of the important differences between your roles as a leader and a parent.

Expectations – Boys become scouts for the sheer joy of it, not to learn important life lessons. Your son’s expectations are probably different from yours. He may not share your concerns and almost certainly does not share your perspective. Your role as a concerned parent may not always square with your role as a Scout leader, your son’s role as a scout may not always square with his role as a son. A scout leader-parent must give their sons an acceptable level of latitude to live their own lives by not imposing their personal expectations on them.

Motivation – The first priority of scout leaders is serving the interests of our scouts equally, professionally and fairly. The first priority of parents serve the interests of their children.

These principal motivations be in conflict on occasion and become a source of real difficulty. In anticipation of this conflict scout leader-parents must resolve to be scout leaders first and parents second.

Respect – Leaders must respect the autonomy of their scouts in a different way that parents deal with the autonomy of their children.

Scouts relate to leaders differently than they do their parents.

Respecting the difference of these roles is important for both.

Blind Spots – The perspective of a leader/parent is almost certainly going to have some blind spots. It may be worth wile to ask a trusted third party to watch for blind spots. It is likely that a parent will be more demanding, more critical and more emotional when they deal with their own child in a leadership role.

Having someone who will thoughtfully bring perspective to the relationship is important.

Inside information – Parents and children have inside information on each other; they know each other better than anyone else in the Troop. This information can be enriching, or potentially harmful for both parties.

Clarifying the two relationships of scout to leader and parent to child draws a line where inside information is never used to leverage one relationship against the other.