Scouting Checkpoint

Let’s build a “membership standards” Scouting checkpoint at the gate of our scout camp.

Adult leaders can gain entrance only after they pass inspection on their adherence to the scout oath and law to enter. This way we can be sure to exclude atheists, the divorced, smokers, drug users, alcoholics, tax cheats, people who are overweight, adulterers, fornicators, the envious, homosexuals,the lustful, the prideful, the gluttonous, the dishonest, and the slothful. We can get finally weed out the cheerless, the unclean, the unfriendly, the cowardly, the discourteous, the irreverent, and everyone who does not meet a focused determination of appropriate standards.

I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before. We have missed the boat concentrating only on the gays and the godless, lets really clean house so we can truthfully say “character counts” and other fun slogans. All lifestyles that don’t meet strict standards are equally detrimental, right? How could we have been so foolish? This is plainly a black and white issue: let’s not compromise our standards as we have in the past. Just imagine how happy the scouts will be as they are led by this master race of pure morality. They can live for a time in a world devoid of evil and conflict.

Imagine how well this will prepare them for life in the real world and the deep sense of tolerance and respect they will develop for all other people.

Problem is that me and most of the people I know in scouting wouldn’t pass that checkpoint.

I will miss going to camp.