Advancing to Eagle; a Parable

A young man built a shed in the backyard. He saved the money, designed the shed and wanted to build it by himself. Over time he learned how to use a saw and a hammer, collected his own set of tools, built smaller projects. He was having fun pursing something interesting, building skills and accumulating knowledge of his craft. He learned to draw plans, estimate costs, where to buy his materials. His parents like the idea of a shed, they are very supportive: they’re pleased that their son has developed into a decent carpenter but know little of the subject themselves. They asked that someone who knows more than they do review the plans with their son just to make sure he was building the shed properly. He called a friend of the family who was a builder and showed him the plans. He had to tweak this plans a bit and got some good advice. One weekend he dug the foundations and poured cement; the next he set up his rim and floor joists. When he went to frame the walls he realized that he had made a miscalculation and would have to change his plans. He was discouraged and didn’t work on the shed for a week or two. His parents held him to the commitment and he started building again.

There was an argument, but they insisted and the boy returned to his work. Soon the prospect of finishing the shed overcame his reticence and the moved the project forward.

Within a few weeks the shed was finished; fresh paint, shiny hardware, it looked great. His parents joined him in the back yard to admire his work. They hadn’t driven one nail, cut one stud or so much as lifted a paintbrush. Not that wouldn’t have; they offered help a few times but he said he was fine.

Early on they had decided, despite how much they wanted to be involved, to wait until they were asked for help but that request never came.The boy was righteously proud of his work. That he had built it himself made the accomplishment all the sweeter. His parents were proud too. When the boy first asked if he could build a shed they didn’t go out and buy him a finished shed, nor did they tell him how to build it. They made sure it would properly built, they kept him to his commitment and in the end were as pleased with him as he was with his work.

I needn’t explain how the is story relates to a scout advancing towards Eagle.

Sometimes parents get overly involved in their children’s lives. It may be that we want to delay the inevitability that our children will grow up and live on their own, that we fear they may fail more than they do. We all made mistakes when we first had our own independence and autonomy, and it is difficult to see our children make the same mistakes. Our boys need to stand on their own two feet; indeed this independence is required of an Eagle Scout.