A Nation of Wimps?

I post this because I run into a fair number of Fellow Scouters who rail about the current state of the world. Such nihilists suck all the optimism out of the air and seem to take honest pleasure in their negativity.

Someone recently asked “Are we turning into a nation of wimps? Do boys need to be boys? Is there something parents and schools should be doing differently?” Here’s the exchange that followed - Fellow Scouter – In a nutshell, absolutely! And it’s causing more trouble than ever > imagined by those that implemented the ideas that started it back in the late 60s early 70s (Betty Friedan and crew). Me - In a nutshell – not on your life!

Specifically which ideas are causing our boys trouble?

Equal rights for women, a woman’s right to choose, title nine, fairness in the workplace?

Which of these ideas has been so corrosive?

Would you deny any of these to your daughter?

Fellow Scouter – Boys have been beaten into submission. And the men they become show it. We seldom see men that stand up for what they believe. We seldom see men willing to fight for what’s right, or at least what they believe to be right. Me - What? No one beat me into submission.

I am standing up for myself right now. My son does, my scouts do – you are just plain wrong.

I have taught my son and my scouts that the weakest form of manhood is the swaggering, brawling, bullying kind. At least one of my former Scouts is in Iraq right now – he’s doing a little more than simply standing up for what he believes.

Fellow Scouter – Boys are taught to be compliant and quiet. And if they’re not quiet and compliant, we medicate them for ADD/ADHD. Me - Another gross exaggeration. If our last Troop meeting is any indication whoever is teaching our boys this quiet compliance are doing a pretty poor job of it.

Trivializing something as serious and difficult to deal with as ADD or ADHD is just plain offensive.

Fellow Scouter – Men and boys are only allowed to be “sensitive and compassionate.” Me – As opposed to insensitive and dispassionate?

Fellow Scouter – Men are no longer allowed to open doors for ladies. Me – I open the door for my wife and women of all ages all the time. By the way – make up your mind here; isn’t opening doors is “sensitive and compassionate”?

Fellow Scouter – Boys in school are no longer allowed to play “tag” and other chase games. Me – Some schools have chosen to limit competitive games among young children – a good idea in my book. Most of us well remember young children can be incredibly cruel.

Fellow Scouter – One boy has been expelled for offering a hug to a female classmate. Me - You can support any argument with any number of unreferenced anecdotes. Who is the boy you speak of – what were the exact circumstances involved?

Fellow Scouter – We’re not allowed to win. Me – We are allowed to win – have you watched any interscholastic sports lately?

There are plenty of winners.

Fellow Scouter – Boys absolutely need to be boys. They need to run and chase and compete and try to win. They even need to be allowed to play some rough and tumble games that lead to the occasional injury complete with bloody noses, fat lips and black eyes. Me - Boys need to be boys without being encouraged to harm one another physically or psychically. They need to learn to express their exuberance without being oafish or ignorant. They need to learn that real men care about and for those around them. By the way check with your local ER – there are still plenty of injuries out there.

Fellow Scouter – And they need to have instilled in them the ideals of the Scout Oath and Law while they’re busy being boys. Me – And the Scout Oath and Law emphasizes the balance of courage with kindness, friendship, helpfulness and courteously. Are these wimpy values? Once we reach a certain age we all find it easy to think that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Our grandfathers thought the same way about our fathers, and their grandfathers thought the same way about them. Boys are still boys – they are not growing into a nation of wimps. Some of my former Scouts are fathers now, some are soldiers, teachers, craftsmen, businessmen.

There isn’t a ‘wimp’ in the bunch. The Scouts I am working with now aren’t wimps either. They are as active, energetic and courageous as ever.

I salute their teachers and parents (at least 50% of them being women who enjoy the benefits of “ideas that started it back in the late 60s early 70s”) for having been a part of forming who they are.