Scoutmaster Podcast 335

I'm Mitch Tansby. I'm the Scoutmaster from troop 404 in Oldman Beach, Florida. This addition, the Scoutmaster podcast, is sponsored by backers like me.

And now it's for you, Scoutmaster. I had a great joke to tell you about a cot in a tent at camp.

The problem is it hasn't been made up yet. Well, how about that? Hey, welcome to podcast number 335.

Welcome back to the Scoutmaster podcast. This is Clarke Green. I got an idea. Let's start with a look in the mailbag. Huh Heard from Kyle Burkholder's, the Scoutmaster of troop 333 says: thanks for all your work on the podcast.

You can't really produce them as fast as I can listen, So I've restarted listening from the beginning to see what I may have forgotten or didn't hear the first time, Such as getting the punchline to the penguin joke. Thanks, Kyle. Thanks for being in touch and thank you for listening.

And if you don't know about the penguin joke, well, you got to go back. Start with podcast one. Work your way forward.

In reply to last week's podcast where we were talking about whether or not parents understand scouting, Heard from scouter Rob who said is the committee chair of my troop, I've started a series of parents meetings during our scout meeting time And I think it's helping already. Well, there's a lot of things that are the price of doing business in scouts and parents will not understand We shouldn't really expect them to. They'll even resist attempts to educate them about what scouting is all about. And this is nothing new. It's nothing that we're ever gonna fix, and that doesn't mean that we shouldn't do our best to educate parents about things.

But we need to understand the situation and there'll be more about that idea when I am answering an email question from Ty. A little later on in this podcast, Jim Hilliard weighed in on Facebook about our last podcast. We had a question about a scout who, in all good conscience, said that at this point in time He could not say the Pledge of Allegiance.

Well, Jim said this- a great response to that question. I'd urge the scout not to be disruptive in a scout meeting and I, Jim, I don't think this scout was being disruptive at all. I admit I seriously question my own scout oath at times to.

Yeah, Jim, I think there are times, especially when we're younger, where we may have a crisis of conscience that we need to work out, and Scouting is a great place to do that. We have some wonderful tools for young people to be able to think about these things and to discuss them with adults who Hopefully make an attempt to understand what they're going through.

Hey, we have a live chat session once or twice a week. Last week We got together on Tuesday and usually these chat sessions will be a Tuesday or a Wednesday morning or both. You can watch our Facebook feed and our Twitter feed. That'll tell you when we're on live at scoutmastercgcom. Come on over, join in the chat, as did Catherine Smith From Montague, New Jersey, where she's the committee chair for PAC and Troop 98. And Lawrence Ratner joined us from Fairfield, Connecticut, where he's an assistant Scoutmaster for Troop 88, as did David Matz- He's a Scoutmaster for Troop 44 in Farragut, Tennessee, and Mike, Who is this assistant Scoutmaster with Troop 668, and a district commissioner in Chicago.

All those folks joined us for our first time, along with people who check in on a regular basis. We call our frequent flyers on the chat live chat, scoutmastercgcom. We discuss all kinds of things.

Sometimes They're important, sometimes not so much. But watch the Facebook feed and the Twitter feed on Tuesday and Wednesday morning see if we're going to be live. Come on over and join us. It's lots of fun.

Now, before I go any farther, I want to pause here to thank all the folks who are scoutmastercgcom backers, And I want to especially mention Roland Christopher, who added his name to the list of Scoutmastercgcom backer since our last podcast. I want to say thanks to all of you who support us through Patreon. If you'd like to become a backer or join our patreon subscribers, you can visit scoutmastercgcom. You'll find links to follow at the top right hand of any page and links in this episode's podcast notes.

Well, in this week's podcast I've got some email questions to answer. I can hardly wait to get at them.

So let's get started. Shall we Write me a letter? Send it by name

Email. That is, folks, and here's an answer to one of your emails. This first email comes from Ty Williams, who's the scoutmaster of Scout Troop 1262 in Clarkston, Washington, And Ty wrote in to say: I need some advice on how to get young scouts and their parents to understand That it is literally a life-and-death situation when they don't wear or bring appropriate clothes to scouting activities. Maybe I'm falling somewhere short in my leadership, in my mind. I've done what I can. I've made lists, I've shared the infographics that you've made about this.

I've called on parents to attend meetings where I specifically talked about the items of clothing that you need to Be safe in wet or cold weather. I have gone so far as to have a troop loaning closet with sleeping vads and pads and shoes and boots and gloves Available- youth, if they would just let me know. I've had to change locations or cancel campouts, Even though we live in an area known for very mild winters. People tell me just to keep on camping and doing activities and they will learn, But I won't sacrifice a youth or put them in jeopardy of even mild hypothermia For a lesson.

How do I get this message across? Well, Ty, First of all, a weekend camping trip is not going to devolve into literally life and death, Let's hope right.

So let's bring the rhetoric down a few notches. If you're asking me how to solve this problem, there's a few things to unpack here. First off, I know, as far as my troop is concerned, We just don't go if it looks like a life or death situation.

You know, I mean, if it's going to be extraordinarily harsh weather that we're not prepared for, we're going to stay home. And if the weather goes that far downhill, if we're out camping, we bug out and go home. There's no need to be in a seriously dangerous situation. You can prevent that by being prepared, of course, and making plans, But every once in a while things break down and it's time to head out. We aren't the marines defending the homeland.

We're just out camping and there's no reason to be miserable or to have scouts endure dangerous conditions If it can be avoided. Now one of our standing expectations is that scouts will always bring their rain gear- And that's pants and a jacket, no ponchos, because ponchos do not work when you're camping- And polypro long underwear, both tops and bottoms, on every outing. I know I can keep them safe Weatherwise if they pack these along and things really start to go south on us. If they don't, then they're going to be wet and cold and miserable.

Now I can recall one time in the past 30 years where there was any grave concern about a scout being hypothermic, And I do keep an eye on that because I do know what it looks like and I do know how to avoid it. If scouts look sketchy, I tell them to put on more clothes or get into a sleeping bag or drink water, Get up and get moving or whatever the situation demands. I have had plenty of cold, wet, miserable scouts, But that usually only happens once or twice And they pretty much get the idea that they're going to have to look after themselves.

I do tell parents I'm on every scout to have rain gear And polypro every time we go out, regardless of the season, And I explain that it's about their scout's safety and comfort as well as the good of their patrol, Because it's a bummer if you can't do anything because one guy isn't prepared. Some parents never get it and I stopped worrying about that a long time ago.

Now ty replied to that answer and he said: I wrote you the email that I did soon after we had a sledding activity And there were a couple of scouts that were simply not prepared for it. I guess my rant is aimed at finding out if I am expecting too much from scouts and their parents to come reasonably prepared for a camp out or activity in the snow or rain.

Well, ty, I think, if you think about what you just said for a moment, Are you expecting too much from scouts and their parents to come reasonably prepared for a camp out or activity in the snow or rain? You can pretty much. Answer the question for yourself. Sometimes, yes, you are expecting too much. I mean, talk to any teacher or parent or coach or director, anyone involved in a program working with youth or Adults even- and this is not a problem that you are going to fix, It's a kind of the general run of human behavior. If you think you're going to fix it, you're in for a long, Frustrating time.

As a scouter- and I mentioned earlier in the podcast, in reply to a comment from last week's Podcast where we did talk about You know- whether or not parents really understand what we're doing- No, they don't, and we shouldn't expect them to, even after we explain it to them, Because you and I got things wrong the first few times around the track. Anyway, I don't expect parents are going to understand what we're doing. I expect that sometimes they will have questions or concerns about it. I will expect sometimes they will ignore some of the advice or directions that we give them. This is the way that it works. This is what we've chosen to do.

You know you can't expect every scout or every parent to get it. You can't really expect every single scout and every single parent to follow directions. That is what we call the price of doing business. Get used to it, because otherwise It's going to be really, really frustrating. And it's nothing personal, It's not that they don't like you or they think that you're stupid. It's just that this is the way people are.

And this is a regular conversation that I have with my committee chair, And we both understand what's going on. And there are times where we just look at each other and go, okay, You know, that set of parents didn't get it again, Uh, or that scout, we just can't get through to them right now. We'll keep trying, We'll do our best, But we've been at it long enough that we understand you don't always get through. And once again I put it down to the price of doing business.

Now, Scouters, We are in the opportunity business. We create opportunities for young people. What people do with those opportunities is really up to them.

We can't do much more than create the opportunities, help the young people work their way through them, And that's about the best that we can do Now. After I sent him that message, Ty got back to me and said: well, thanks for for providing clarity on this.

I think I have an idea who needs to change his mindset, and that might be me. I appreciate your time and your thoughtful responses.

Well, Ty, I'm always happy to help, and you aren't alone in being frustrated by all this, and you'll continue to be frustrated by it. And I am 35 years later. I still get a little wrapped up around my own axle about things. Things get a little better, as you understand that. It's nothing personal. This is just the normal way that people act In just about every situation they're going to find themselves in.

Tim wood, who's an assistant Scoutmaster with troop 38 in terra hut Indiana, said: I'm I'm having a problem with parents not wanting their boys in scouting Because the bsa changed their rules on gay scouts and gay scout leaders, And they say that they're not comfortable having their child in an organization like this. I don't really know what to say to them.

Can you help me? Well, tim, I don't really know what to tell you because I don't have a whole lot to say to them either.

To be honest, I think that there are families that are going to have a religious objection to this. They're going to have to find some alternative to the bsa if this is an issue for them. It's very likely they're going to be uncomfortable with a lot of other organizations And that's too bad for their children the way that I look at it.

But you know, people make decisions for their children and I'm not going to tell them whether they're being right or wrong. They're going to figure that out as time goes by. I suppose I'm afraid I'm not a whole lot of help in on this one tim.

All I can say is this: children don't get to pick their parents And we can't save them from their parents when we think that their parents are Doing something inadvisable- and whether you think that or not in this case, I don't know that there's much of anything that can be done about it. Our next email question is anonymous. At the sender's request. They said this: I just started listening a couple of months ago. I love your wisdom and guidance. I have a long history with the scouts, with three children and both parents involved.

Both me and my spouse were diverse, several different volunteer hats. Your blog and podcast helped me to find focus and positivity when I'm starting to feel Uncertain about our roles in these different groups. That being said, I'm having an issue with my daughter's venturing crew. They lost their advisor a few years ago. Older youth in the crew left and went off to college. There are many inexperienced venturers.

Now They're down to about three or four adult volunteers Who can actually go on outings, and the crew has dwindled to about six venturers. Just about every event that has been planned since last august has been canceled at the last minute due to a lack of involvement On the venturer's part. My daughter has a position of responsibility within the crew And she's kind of frustrated and i'm trying to support her and not step in.

But how do I proceed from here? Do I let this crew sink or swim?

How do I help my daughter achieve her goals without becoming the crew's director for these teens? Well, let's take a look at this and see if I can say anything useful about it. I know that packs, troops and crews go through cycles and that's usually driven by changes in adult volunteers.

Adults are usually following their children through the program, So these ups and downs are about three to five years apart, And I've seen this happen times. Now. Most adults jump into a volunteer role without thinking about how long they'll be in that role Or about replacing themselves or even preserving the progress they create.

So things kind of fall apart when it's time for them to go. So what do you do when that happens?

Well, there's two basic alternatives. You can find another crew that's functioning well, or you can try to make this one better. Making the present crew function better Means somebody is going to have to step into the advisor role and spend some time getting things back on track, Or the president advisor is going to have to get things rolling in that direction. If you're not in a key role within the crew, there's not much you're actually going to be able to do.

So maybe it's time for the crew committee and the advisor and the other adults to take stock and start planning what happens next. What does the crew look like in three years? Who's committed to making it happen and what are the first steps in getting things turned around. Long story short, Somebody has to step up. Perhaps it's you, perhaps not, But that seems to be the key next step.

Now you did note in your email that you and your spouse wear several different hats, as Already, and the best advice I can give you is: Whittle that down to one and only one Volunteer role, based on where you believe you can be of the most service to young people, Because you're already doing too much already and that's not helping anyone, Because if you're doing too much in too many roles, my experience tells me That you're not going to be around for very long. If you can focus on one role And concentrate on only that role, Then you're going to be able to actually make some progress.

Then think about Replacing yourself so that when you're done you don't lose all that progress. Kevin Callahan is an assistant Scoutmaster with troop 764 in Hailthorpe, Maryland, and Kevin wrote in to say, first and foremost, Thanks for administering your wonderful website. You've created A community of scouts interested in improving themselves, their units and scouting. I've been trying to find ways to improve upon our courts of honor. I was reading over your commentary on the subject.

It's given me some ideas on improvements we can make and I appreciate that. You mentioned holding quarterly parent meetings before courts of honor And I'm writing to ask you to explain more about those meetings. You mentioned trading off a troop meeting for one of these.

Does that mean that the scouts are part of a parent meeting Or do they go off and do something else while the parents meet? And what are the typical topics for this meeting?

How formal are the meetings and who usually leads them? Well, Kevin, thank you for the kind words and thank you for that question. Our quarterly parent nights are do include a court of honor. Everybody arrives about 7 pm, The scouts go outside and play a game and the committee chair and whoever needs to, depending on what's going on. For instance, if there's a fundraiser, it may be the person running that, But whoever needs to, we'll talk to the parents for about 15 to 20 minutes at the absolute most And we'll tell them what's happening.

In our next quarter, when we have met with the parents and answered questions and shared our plans with them, The scouts come in and the senior patrol leader takes over and does the court of honor. The court of honor is reasonably informal.

We have a set script that we adapt to the situation And once he's done, we dismiss everybody to juice and cookies, and all of this takes about an hour, an hour and 15 minutes at the very most. We make it useful for parents. We make it brief, because often if parents are going to attend, that means they need to bring younger children along, And we make it as meaningful as possible for the scouts, with the inclusion of the of the court of honor.

Our watch word is to make ourselves The easiest group for a child to be involved in, so far as their parents are concerned, By making everything as clear as we possibly can, making it simple And respecting the idea that there's an awful lot going on in a family's life And the last thing they need is another two or three hour meeting going on on a week night. Hey, if you have a question for me, you'd like to get in touch? It's very easy to do. I'm going to tell you how to make that happen in just a moment.