Scoutmaster Podcast 168

Hey, this is Clark and I want to remind you that this podcast is brought to you by scoutmastercgcom backers. The funds we get from our backers cover the expenses of producing and publishing everything at scoutmastercgcom, including what you're about to listen to. Go to scoutmastercgcom and click the support link at the top of the page and you can join hundreds of your fellow scouters who help me keep the podcast freely available for scouters all over the world. Time marked by a lack of truth. The world turns to Mesa. Scoutmaster.

Ouch, Oh man, I was whittling on this stick and I cut my finger. Yeah, you better go see the scoutmaster about that one. Hello, scout, Me, scoutmaster. No, me, scoutmaster, you boy scout, But my finger, scoutmaster, No, your finger cut me, scoutmaster, come with me, please. Me scoutmaster. No, me, scoutmaster, you boy scout, your finger cut.

Here comes Mr Gilead, maybe he'll understand. Hello, scoutmaster, me, Mr Gilead. No, scoutmaster, No, scoutmaster. Ask, Mr Gilead, Me scoutmaster. No, me, scoutmaster. You, Mr Gilead, he boy scout cut finger.

Cut finger, scoutmaster, No, his finger not. Scoutmaster me, scoutmaster, You, Mr Gilead, he boy scout, But my finger, Mr Gilead, Your finger, not, Mr Gilead, he, Mr Gilead, your finger cut me, scoutmaster, you boy scout, Bandaid there a boy scout. No, bandaid, not boy scout. He boy scout me, scoutmaster. You, Mr Gilead, finger cut. Thanks, Mr Gilead, You're welcome, boy scout.

You, boy scout. Thank, Mr Gilead. Bandage finger me, scoutmaster you, Mr Gilead.

Well, I'm glad we got that all sorted out. Yes, carry on everyone. Hey, this is podcast number 168..

Well, welcome back to the Scoutmaster Podcast. This is Clarke Green. Let's take a look in this week's mailbag. Gary Perley is with Boy Scout Troop 1 in Jeffersonville, Indiana, and he wrote in to say we've enjoyed reading your articles and comments and often cite them on our Troop Facebook page. I found your thoughts on the membership standards resolution thoughtful and very interesting. Like you, I am a long-term scouter who would like to see our organization move to a more inclusive policy.

I was also initially disappointed in the proposed resolution, which, on the surface, is a contradiction of values. However, I do appreciate the fairly transparent process and the sharing of the surveys and other data. I agree with you that if we're going to remain attractive to current and potential youth, our present policy is a real barrier. We currently host an exchange student who is a Swiss scout.

He is one of three European scouts we've hosted in the last couple of years and it's clear that an inclusive policy has worked well in many other countries for some time. There's no reason why it shouldn't work well here also. Before I go on, let me just remark that naturally, the big news at one level of scouting this past week has been the membership standards resolution that was released by the BSA and will be voted on at the general meeting. The basics are that this resolution does not discriminate against youth members based on sexual orientation. What does, distressingly, maintain the discrimination against adult leaders based on sexual orientation And, as many of you has pointed out in response to the blog post on this subject last week, this creates a bit of an untenable situation. But that's one level of what's going on in scouting.

It would be remiss for me not to mention it or to comment upon it, And naturally I understand that many of my readers and my listeners will have a contrary opinion to mine. But that's okay.

We're all going to stick together as best we can and we're going to keep on going in the interest of the youth that we serve. And that's the level of scouting that really counts, doesn't it? David Legg volunteers with Scout Troop 35 in Dumfries, Virginia, And he touches base to say, Clark, it's been a long time since you've done a podcast on Scouts with Disabilities.

I think it'd be an interesting topic to revisit. We now have a physically disabled scout, a deaf scout, and are looking forward to welcoming another disabled scout.

Each one of these scouts presents different challenges and we're learning as we go. The Scouting for Youth with Disabilities Manual published by the BSA does have some great material in it, but there's nothing like hearing from others who've met similar challenges. Thanks for all the time and effort you put into the blog and podcast.

Your virtual mentor all Scoutmasters should have, David, thanks for getting in touch, And I do appreciate you reminding me that it's probably time for us to discuss again working with scouts with different needs, and there's nothing like hearing from others who've met similar challenges. So, folks, if you're listening to this and you're working with a scout with special needs, let's hear from you. Get in touch with me at Clark, at ScoutmasterCGcom, Tell me your story and we'll put together a podcast about it.

Okay, We'll just see what people are doing out there and the different things that are meaning, because, David, you're right, There's nothing like hearing from others and we look forward to doing just that. Erwin Lazar is an adult volunteer with Scout Troop 188 in Haymarket, Virginia. He says: Hi, Clark, I've been reading your blog and listening to your podcast for a while now. Thanks for always providing great and thoughtful information. It's a valuable resource that we share with our other adult leaders.

Well, thanks, Erwin, I really appreciate the vote of confidence and you're getting in touch, and I'm glad you're finding what we're doing useful. John Nelson dropped a quick note to say thank you for your advice and daily inspiration.

Well, thank you, John. I'm sure to appreciate that. Let's see what else is on the table here. The next Scout Circle is Sunday, May 12th, and that'll be from 9 to 10 pm Eastern Standard Time. You can find out more details about how to join in on that at scoutscircleorg. We'll be talking with a camp director and we'll be talking about the subject to summer camp.

I'm sure it'll be a pretty wide-ranging discussion and there'll be an opportunity for you to ask questions too during the presentation. Also, make sure you stop in and see our last presentation with Kevin Callant, and you can view that presentation through the new Scoutmaster CG YouTube channel, and there'll be a link to that channel in the post that contains this podcast.

Well, the rest of this podcast will be answers to several different email questions that touch on different subjects that came in over the past week. So let's get started, shall we?

Let me a letter? Send it my name Email.

That is, folks, And here's an answer to one of your emails. Before we start talking emails, let's remember that you can get in touch. It's Clark at scoutmastercgcom. Clark at scoutmastercgcom. I received this email this week. I have a question about how to advise my son dealing with issues in his troop and patrol.

Over the last year my son's been picked on and even bullied on campouts. There are several regular offenders. My son loves scouting but he hates it when he's called names and picked on by the other boys for not doing what he's supposed to be doing. If you give my son five things to do, he'll do one or two and forget the rest and do his own thing.

Well, you know, that kind of sounds like just about every boy I've ever worked with in scouting. My son is very quiet, non-confrontational. This has also made him a target of pranking and other misbehavior. I've talked to the scoutmaster and I've encouraged my son to talk to the scoutmaster and the boy leaders in the troop. We're very invested in the idea of boy leadership.

I'm also an assistant scoutmaster and I don't want to become a helicopter parent who goes on every camp out just to make sure my son is okay, but sometimes I feel I should be doing just that. One of the key problems is that we find out about these incidents after they have happened and my son has been reduced to tears over them more than once.

It's a whole lot to handle, but I think this needs to change and I'm not sure how to make that happen. Well, that is a familiar story and you are not alone, and neither is your son, Anybody who's involved in this kind of youth work.

We understand that there's a kid's code so far as these things are concerned. In the hurly-burly of childhood, there's a lot of bullying and picking on each other.

There's pretty much always been that way and it's likely to be that way in the future, and there's an unwritten rule that nobody tells on anybody else. Now, that may be the reality of childhood outside of scouting, but we scouts have a higher code, a higher reality called the scout oath and the scout law. I see that you understand the importance of youth leaders and that they're developing as they go along, that your son's fellow scouts are also learning and developing and maturing as they go along and they're likely to make mistakes. These are both admirable and rare things in many parents and many scouts. You've been patient. You've taken the right steps in speaking to the Scoutmaster yourself and encouraging your son to do so.

Of course, as a volunteer and a parent, there's always some level of discomfort or reluctance to address problems concerning your own child, but I'm going to suggest that your understanding and patience, while very admirable, is masking some very real and possibly serious problems that this troop must confront to bring it to an end. Let's think about this for a moment.

If your troop was out camping and there was a snake or a hive of bees in the campsite that repeatedly bit or stung one of the scouts, would everybody just fold their hands and say: well, you know, that's what it's like in nature, We'll just have to put up with it. How about if it was common practice in your troop for scouts to pick up sticks and start hitting other scouts or to throw stones at each other?

Would everybody stand by and say, well, boys will be boys, they just have to kind of grow out of this? No, no, of course not Everyone would spring into action and see that the harm being done and the bad behavior stopped right away. If they didn't do this, they would be pilloried for exposing their scouts to needless injury, and no parent in their right mind would let their son go camping with that troop again.

Your adult leaders need to spring into action now and put an end to all of this foolishness. Pranks and bullying and picking on fellow scouts is no less harmful or irresponsible than the situations I've just described. There is simply no room for pranks, no room for bullying and no room for picking on a fellow scout in scouting. If a scout is repeatedly reduced to tears because of the actions of his fellow scouts, it's long task time, in my opinion, for the adults involved to bring the actions causing this kind of trouble to an end. I too value the autonomy and independence of youth leadership.

I think it's a pillar of scouting. But there are times- and this is one of them- when the Scoutmaster steps up and leads the youth to correct bad behavior. The Scoutmaster must meet with the patrol leaders council and demand that this sort of thing stop right now. Not that it tapers off, not that it just happens once in a while, but that it stops all together from that moment forward.

The Scoutmaster and the senior patrol leaders should then speak to the entire troop and explain there will be no more pranks, there will be no more bullying and there will be no more picking on any scout at any time. They need to explain that the scout law is in effect from that point on and that no scout should ever feel he must put up with this sort of thing again, That any incident of bullying or pranking or picking on a scout should be brought to the attention of the senior patrol leader and the Scoutmaster, who will immediately take action to make sure it stops.

Now listen, a savvy Scoutmaster can do this without being heavy-handed, without bringing any attention to a specific scout or a group of scouts or a specific situation. He doesn't have to mention any names. He or she can address this all with a combination of gravity and good humor, but with a definitive expectation that none of this kind of foolishness will be permitted to continue. I don't care how large a troop is or how overwhelmed adults may feel about something like this. They must never allow this sort of behavior to be acceptable. It's shameful, it's harmful and it's totally unscout like Now.

I want to go back and I want to repeat: I understand that boys will be boys, that they will have this type of behavior, but it is incumbent upon any adult involved with a scout troop anywhere in the country to work together with their fellow adults to create an atmosphere of acceptance and of safety, both physically and emotionally, so that every scout can have a great scouting experience and they're not reduced to tears because of the behavior of their fellow scouts. And let me repeat: your attitude and your sensitivity to supporting youth leaders, of not sheltering your own son and of giving him time and experiences to learn about how to do things for himself, of not wanting to interfere or cause upset, is admirable, but in the best possible and most understanding way, I want to communicate that, while I understand this dilemma, none of these shings should dampen your resolve to end any abusive or irresponsible behavior that your son's subject to. I'd also recommend to you that, if immediate, decisive action like what I've described here isn't taken to put an end to this, that you and your son find a troop that won't allow this sort of behavior to persist.

These types of things are always a little bit of a tricky subject, aren't they? But scouts are held to a higher code of conduct than the playground code of conduct. They're held to the scout oath and law, and if the adult leaders in a troop aren't making that clear, then we're going to have problems. This email came in this past week. In my unit it's a tradition of the adult leaders to wear the Eagle Mentor Pin on their uniforms. I recently received one and I'm kind of conflicted about this because, from what I understand, the Eagle Mentor Pin is for civilian wear and not for the uniform.

Obviously, there's no uniform police to enforce the insignia guide, but that really isn't the point. I was wondering what your thoughts on the matter were.

Well, I'll tell you. When it comes to uniforms, I think of the Serenity Prayer.

You know what I'm talking about. Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, of course, to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. There are rules about uniforms and the wearing of pins and the placement of badges, and you've got it right. The uniform and insignia guide notes that the Eagle Mentor Pin is for a non-parent who was instrumental in the scout earning his Eagle and it is for non-uniform wear. Adults and scouts sometimes rebel against uniform rules knowingly, because they don't think that they're right and they want to wear whatever they want to wear and sometimes they may just not know what the rules are. If I see a scout in my troop who has some sort of irregularity in the placement of patches or wearing of pins or the way he's wearing his uniform, I may mention that to my Senior Patrol Leader by asking the Senior Patrol Leader if he's noticed this irregularity.

If the Senior Patrol Leader knows what the rules are and if he thinks that that should be corrected, Then honestly I just really kind of forget about it. If I see an adult in my troop who has some sort of similar irregularity in the placement of patches or wearing of pins, I may say something about it, but probably not.

I think a couple of our adults may be wearing Mentor Pins on their shirt. I would have to check.

I think it's important that you follow the rules. I think it's important that I follow the rules, but I would suggest not trying to correct others in these matters because they're not a big giant deal.

You know, in the great scheme of things, If that's the habit in your troop- to wear Mentor Pins on the uniform. Maybe somebody will ask you why you aren't wearing the Mentor Pins that you received, and that's your chance to say that the rules don't permit it and that's why you're not wearing it, and that may help to inform them.

And if this is common practice in your troop, you may want to speak with the scout who presented the pin to you privately just to assure them that you value it very much, but you won't be wearing it on your uniform because you know, according to the rules, that's not the proper place for it. I hope that helps.

I know that people have varying opinions about uniforms and the wearing of them and the placement of badges and pins, and there are traditions and habits that form in troops and councils and districts that don't exactly conform to the uniform and insignia guide. I find it hard to be a stickler about stuff like that and I know I'm going to get emails that tell me that I should be, but when it comes to some things we really need to have a little serenity and a little wisdom. Here's another question. We ran into an issue where, after meal planning for an upcoming outing, a scout approached me and said he didn't like and wouldn't eat what his patrol had planned for dinner.

He said he raised the issue with his patrol but they overruled him now and he didn't know what to do. We've told the patrols that meal decisions have to be unanimous, but sometimes peer pressure and that kind of group think invades and somebody feels left out.

I think you've got this right. You know the patrol determines their own menu and if it's a unanimous decision, all the better.

In this instance, I think you have teachable moments. You have one for the patrol leader, and I would take him aside and I would ask him how he intends to solve this problem.

Did he make sure that everyone agreed on the menu? Is it important that everybody agrees on the menu?

Did he make sure to accommodate every dietary restriction or allergy that he has in his patrol? Because that's important too.

If what you're hearing is true, why did they decide that the preferences of the scout didn't matter? Now, I was never a picky eater, so it's been a challenge for me to understand why anyone would just out and out refuse to eat something that they didn't like, as opposed to something that they were allergic to or they had.

You know some kind of dietary restriction about. Boys can be very selective, and parents may choose to indulge this to the point where they won't eat anything that they don't like.

You know, when I was growing up, if we didn't like what was on the table for dinner, my mother quickly reminded us that she wasn't running a restaurant and we would take it or leave it. That's what's for dinner, And you know, just like your mom, she also reminded us there were plenty of starving people in the world who would be happy to have anything to eat at all. I can't really ever recall walking away from a dinner. But you also have a teachable moment here for the patrol as a whole.

You know peer pressure happens all the time and we expect it to happen, And when it does, we need to talk to the patrol. Can they find a better way to move forward without leaving somebody out?

Do they know how it feels to be left out or singled out like this? Do they think just simply overruling somebody in this kind of a situation is a scout-like thing to do? Lastly, it's also a teachable moment for the scout.

You know we don't always get our own way. Food you don't like is not going to kill you. Sometimes our own personal likes and dislikes aren't as important as getting along with everyone and being cooperative.

Sometimes we have to stand up for ourselves And sometimes, you know honestly, we're just being a little selfish. None of these lessons are particularly interesting, however, on an empty stomach, So I hope that scout got something to eat.

Here's a third email question. A scout received yellow summer camp merit badge forms from the counselors at our council winter camp instead of blue cards. I will not accept the yellow papers because blue merit badge cards are the only acceptable nationally recognized form according to the guide to advancement. I told the scout that he needed to contact the camp and get the blue cards before we would record his merit badges.

Am I off base on this? You actually are off base, in my opinion, And I think you've missed the bigger point. The blue card or the application for a merit badge is the only national accepted form. The only way that a council or a district can use a different form is if they obtain approval from the national advancement team.

So let's say that the camp in question didn't do that and they decided to come up with their own forms and everything. Well, how is this even remotely the fault of the scout you are penalizing by not accepting his work. We don't make scouts suffer because adults do the wrong things.

If a merit badge counselor screws up, if a camp provides their own unofficial forms, how is the scout supposed to be in control of that? It's small minded and kind of mean spirited to make him suffer for something over which he has absolutely no control. If I were you, I would accept the forms you were given, record the badges and present them to the scout. If you want to. You can bring up the fact that there is a problem with the forms and with the people who created them on your own. There's no reason for the scout or his family to have to be involved in that aspect of the problem.

He's done the work right. The counselor has signed it right. Accept it and you sort out the problem with the forms. Don't make a scout suffer for something like that. He did what he was told. He completed the merit badges.

Email the scout and the poor parent that you've involved in this mess, Apologize and get the badges to him right away. Hey, listen, I hope all that helps. If you have a question, you can get in touch with me and you're going to find out how to do that in just a moment.