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Mistakes are always made.
Although our aspirations and expectations are high we rarely bring a project to completion without a misstep or difficulty. With the responsibility for planning and presenting Scouting is in the hands of the youth leadership the way we react to mistakes is important.
If, in the midst of a football game, the ball is fumbled everyone on the team tries to recover the ball.
Nobody stands by and tries to find fault with the player who fumbled, or waits for him to pick the ball up – everybody jumps. Since everyone who has ever carried the ball knows that they could fumble it just as easily they don’t condemn the man that fumbled, they jump.
A fumble is a team challenge, not a crime to prosecute and punish.
Scouts will react to their own mistakes one of three ways –
They will own up to the problem and deal with it directly.
They will hide until someone else discovers the mistake.
They will try to deny responsibility by making excuses.
Scout aged boys are very sensitive to failure and how it affects their standing in the eyes of their peers. More than one NFL player has shed tears of frustration over a bad play or a fumble. His teammates usually pat him on the back and encourage him to get back in the game.
If the response to a fumble was ostracism and a sound beating few players would look forward to carrying the ball.
If the reaction to the predictable shortcomings and difficulties of youth leadership is to find fault and punish few of them will want to be put in a position of responsibility.
Scouts need to be accountable but without dramatics, punishment or bad feelings.
Thank you for both of your responses. You both make very valid points.
My son has decided to stay with the current troop because the Troop Master is a great leader/ mentor to all the boys. He has a true heart and gift for Scouting. His friends are there as well and he has 4 years invested with this troop, otherwise we possibly would consider Clarke’s advice. I believe my son has learned a very valuable life lesson through all of this since his biggest mistake was not being truthful from the start. Yes, scouting is about so much more than just making Eagle. I like the idea of sitting down without the scout as well and we will consider this.
It is unfortunate that one adult leader (involved that day at camp) influenced the troop committee to take the extreme disciplanary actions described, but has led to some meaningful dicussions with our son.
Larry and Clarke, both of your comments are valid and most appreciated. Thanks!
Ok, that’s one good answer.
I think another route is for the Scout to decide what to do. If, as mom states he’s working through this, his friends are all there, it might also be a good choice to see this through. I agree that the summer camp leadership may leave something to be desired but perhaps everyone can learn some things through this. Just saying.
If he decides to stay, then I think that mom and dad should sit down with the SM and CC (and perhaps the COR), without the Scout, and show them this paragraph from what Clarke wrote:
“I would seriously consider talking with your son about perhaps finding a Scout troop that does not punish Scouts like this. I fear that the whole thing will be rehashed when he is reviewed for Eagle with this Troop.”
and then ask them to respond. Continuing on to Eagle is not the only thing that Scouting is about, but I would certainly get this out of the way before continuing on.
If “rehashing” means asking the Scout in his SM conference what he learned and how he grew through this experience, then someone (the SM) has grown and learned something.
If “rehashing” it means dragging him over the coals and adding a bunch of stuff to his Eagle (as was wrongly added to his advancement as stated above), then, yes, it’s probably time to go. YMMV
Good advice Larry!
Wow! I stumbled upon your blog and found this article to be so very relevant to a situation within my son’s troop that i just had to commen.t
My son was removed from his position of responsibility of Asst. Sr. Patrol Leader during the summer after an event which took place at summer camp. He and several others wrongly did some mischief by taking another scouts can of deoderant and using duct tape and taping down the nozzle. Basically his crime was taking another scouts property and destruction of property. Initially my son was not truthful immediately following the incident that day and did not own up to what he had done to the adult leaderin charge when he was questioned. He finally admitted later in the day to the adult leader that he had not been truthful. He made ammends by repaying the scout for the deoderant which he destroyed and although he had lied, he then apologized to the adult leader for his actions.
My son was removed from his position of responsibility of ASPL that day while at summer camp for the duration of camp and another scout (the son of the adult leader) was given the position (he had held the position in the past).
When my son got home from camp, he told my husband and myself about the entire incident and he admitted he was wrong and deserved the consequence. My son wrote a letter of apology to the adult leader, since it was “the right thing to do” and not because he expected to get the position back.
My issue is with the consequences further given:
He got a letter from the troop committee stating that…
1. He had lost the position of ASPL (which we knew).
2. He would not be given credit for the several months previously served in the positon.
3. He could NOT run for the positon of ASPL again for a period of ONE YEAR.
4. He would be required to have a parent with him at all times at all scout functions for a period of SIX months.
The troop committe never spoke with him after the camp incident. He found out his consequences when he got this letter in the mail.
We have a small troop with fewer older (high school age scouts) and more middle school age scouts. When elections for Asst. Sr. Patrol Leader were held last Spring, only middle school boys were interested, hence, my son, a 14 yr old 8th grade boy was elected to ASPL. There were no previous wrongdoings so the one camp incident described was the basis for this decision.
Mistakes were made.
First he tried to hide the mistake. Then he tried to deny it and make excuses. Finally he owned up to the problem and dealt with it directly.
Sadly, the response was ostracism and severe punishment for his shortcomings. Yes, punishment was due, but I have to ask myself this question. ..
Did the punishment really fit the crime?
Only one adult leader has spoken with my son about the incident at length. He has mentored my son in the most positive ways over the years and is awesome with all the boys, but he is only one of many leaders.
Yes, scouts need to be accountable and my son has certainly learned this fact. As you so wisely point out, a fumble is a team challenge and I believe our team of adult leaders sadly ignored the challenge and opted for prosecution, ostracism, and punishment.
Fortunately my son is outgoing, resiliant and strong and has not taken his punishment too hard. Other scouts placed in this situation may have opted to simply quit. My son is a Life Scout and has a vision to one day make Eagle Scout, but the adult leaders actions do not seem promote and nurture this ambiton, do they?
Wow, that’s quite a story.
I am reluctant to comment when I have heard only one side of the story. So this advice is based on only knowing what you told me and my assumption that it is accurate.
The incident you describe at camp sounds pretty minor to me and the punishment is totally out of proportion. The way I look at it punishment is not a part of Scouting; we use every means of positive reinforcement and I am very uncomfortable with Scout leaders who think they need to punish boys.
I would seriously consider talking with your son about perhaps finding a Scout troop that does not punish Scouts like this. I fear that the whole thing will be rehashed when he is reviewed for Eagle with this Troop.
Scouting should, at a minimum, be a safe place to make mistakes. Do you know how to tell if a teenage boy is stretching the truth? When he’s talking. There are much better, more positive ways to help boys sort things out – harsh punishments like you describe are just plain wrong.
If I were him I would walk away from this bunch of misguided leaders and I would not look back.