How Do We Sound When We Speak to Scouts?

Cartoonist Charles Schultz brilliantly depicted adult speech in his animated ‘Peanuts’ cartoons as unintelligible honking.

As a child I certainly understood what Schultz was aiming at. As an adult I recall the different ways that adults talked to me when I was young and how I heard them:

Yelling, Hollering, Shouting
Sometimes (and only sometimes) it’s an adult’s job to raise their voice and get attention. Use this tone too often and you are likely to be avoided or ignored. It was also frightening, disorienting and kind of paralyzing.

Lecturing
Certain phrases functioned like the switch on a hearing aid. Conditioned by the hours confined to a school desk when a lecture began I was always able to drift off into a daydream. It’s a valuable skill I use to this day.

Patronizing
There’s a particular insincerity that some adults use when they speak to children. Their speech is stilted and awkward as if they are preforming a role in a bad play. It was embarrassing if an adult tried to ‘get down to my level’ by using kid slang or references from kid culture that they plainly did not understand. I remember some of it was pretty comical, some of it was offensive and it never, ever worked.

What I really wanted was honest, genuine engagement in conversation with adults. I did not want adults to shout, lecture or patronize I just wanted them to talk to me like they did anyone else. I did not want them to offer me unsolicited advice.

I clearly remember the few adults who made this happen. They were teachers and family friends would ask legitimate questions and actually listen to the answers. I looked forward to talking to them. I enjoyed listening to their stories because they were, more often than not, just stories and not intended to make some sort of point or illustrate a lesson.

These adults did not clutter their conversation with constant advice or their opinion. This showed that they respected me, that they thought I could probably figure things out for myself. Because they showed me this kind of respect I would ask them for advice every so often.

When it’s time to talk to my Scouts I try to remember these things. I try to be the kind of adult I was looking for at that age; respectful, genuine and not a patronizing lecturer. Sometimes I don’t end up having much to say because I kind of talk myself out of saying it.

Larry Geiger says

July 13, 2011 at 9:36 am

I don’t talk to Scouts, in general, very much. I talk to the SPL but the other Scouts, not so much. Two kinds of Scouts:
1. Scouts that walk up to the adult circle at a camp out or summer camp, take a seat in one of the empty chairs, and sits downs and discusses an issue or plan or problem. This is usually a senior leader who is 16 or 17 years old. The Scout and I chat about what’s going on and maybe some other, off topic thing and they hop up and wander off. All of the other adults in the circle hear everything that is said, how it’s handled and can see the results.
2. Scouts that wander over and stand around or sit around and listen. I work very had at maintaining a level of conversation that is the same whether the Scouts are listening or not. I call the men out when things get inappropriate. The Scouts should be able to wander over at any time and hear edifying conversation. Ok, at least most of the time 🙂 I occasionally have someone who doesn’t get it. Their stories are crude and inappropriate. Not just a little BFS but gross and unseemly or on inappropriate topics. That’s when the hammer goes down. The Mighty Thor speaks. This is another important job of the SM. Set the tone and don’t back down.

Here is a scenario that I love. We adults are sitting around on a campout on a Saturday afternoon and it becomes time to begin preparing for dinner. We begin discussing getting a good charcoal fire going, getting the fixings out and the cooking utensils together. We talk about how if we get going now, we can have everything cleaned up before dark. (What a concept!) Then, almost as one we hop up and start getting things together. What’s cool about that? What’s cool is when there are several Scouts sitting around listening. We never say a word to them. It’s time to get started so we do.

What’s really cool is when they look at each other, get up and head off to their campsite to get dinner started. No SPL yelling at them. No body telling them it’s time, so get to work. It just happens.

Comments

Larry Geiger says

July 13, 2011 at 9:36 am

I don’t talk to Scouts, in general, very much. I talk to the SPL but the other Scouts, not so much. Two kinds of Scouts:
1. Scouts that walk up to the adult circle at a camp out or summer camp, take a seat in one of the empty chairs, and sits downs and discusses an issue or plan or problem. This is usually a senior leader who is 16 or 17 years old. The Scout and I chat about what’s going on and maybe some other, off topic thing and they hop up and wander off. All of the other adults in the circle hear everything that is said, how it’s handled and can see the results.
2. Scouts that wander over and stand around or sit around and listen. I work very had at maintaining a level of conversation that is the same whether the Scouts are listening or not. I call the men out when things get inappropriate. The Scouts should be able to wander over at any time and hear edifying conversation. Ok, at least most of the time 🙂 I occasionally have someone who doesn’t get it. Their stories are crude and inappropriate. Not just a little BFS but gross and unseemly or on inappropriate topics. That’s when the hammer goes down. The Mighty Thor speaks. This is another important job of the SM. Set the tone and don’t back down.

Here is a scenario that I love. We adults are sitting around on a campout on a Saturday afternoon and it becomes time to begin preparing for dinner. We begin discussing getting a good charcoal fire going, getting the fixings out and the cooking utensils together. We talk about how if we get going now, we can have everything cleaned up before dark. (What a concept!) Then, almost as one we hop up and start getting things together. What’s cool about that? What’s cool is when there are several Scouts sitting around listening. We never say a word to them. It’s time to get started so we do.

What’s really cool is when they look at each other, get up and head off to their campsite to get dinner started. No SPL yelling at them. No body telling them it’s time, so get to work. It just happens.