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Night falls on the first day at summer camp; the big opening campfire is over, the troop has returned to the campsite, the Scouts are preparing for taps. Just after we end the Patrol Leader’s Council a young scout, at camp for his first time, is wandering around the edge of a pool of lantern light.
I know exactly why he is there; he and his brethren have been there for twenty plus years – he is one of my homesick Scouts.
Homesickness can be light and passing or dark and difficult. When separated from familiar surroundings or people for an extended period scout aged-boys may become homesick. Homesickness manifests as a sense of dread or helplessness manifesting in depression, sadness, frustration, anger or hopelessness. Extreme cases may even cause physical symptoms like stomach pain, indigestion, headaches, nausea and tears.
A smart Scoutmaster understands that homesickness, while relatively easy to cure in a vast a majority of cases, is a very real problem and it should not be trivialized. I must admit that I have been guilty of less than sensitive ways of handling homesickness; here are some more successful strategies
Alleviating Homesickness
Have a discussion with parents that lays out your expectations for camp. I include this paragraph in our pre-camp flier:
Parents are expected to support their Scout’s commitment to spend a full week at camp. There is a full schedule of shared responsibilities that begins on the Sunday we arrive and continues unbroken until we leave a week later.
If a Scout must arrive late, leave early or spend time out of camp during the week please let us know as early as possible so the corresponding arrangements can be made. That being said arriving late, leaving early or spending time away from camp during the week is actively discouraged as it tends to compromise the experience not only for the individual Scout but for the rest of his Troop.
A week at camp is often the longest time our first year Scouts have spent away from home and family. It is natural that some Scouts find this experience difficult to endure (as do their parents). Our experience with hundreds of Scouts (and parents) of all temperaments assures us that they not only endure, but flourish and return home having gained a great deal from the experience.
Experts recommend bringing a couple of mementos from home such as photos serve as transitional objects that will help relieve uncomfortable feelings.
Treating Homesickness
- Talking – Homesickness involves feelings of dread and helplessness that often dissolve simply by talking them out.
- Stay Active – Staying active and involved is important. Homesick scouts are often reluctant to participate in much of anything. Make very effort to keep them active.
- Stay Engaged – Loneliness feeds homesickness. Encourage lots of group activities and responsibilities. I often ask an older scout to see that the homesick scout is actively engaged.
- Writing or Calling Home – Writing home is helpful, but actually speaking to someone is better. Before putting Scouts on the phone I speak to parents first explaining the situation and making sure they support the idea the scout staying at camp.
College counselors and chaplains report that some freshmen students experience homesickness serious enough to effect their studies. If scouts overcome homesickness at an early age they will be better prepared for these experiences.
I had one Scout with accute homesickness last year. He would come over to the leaders after Taps and tell us about this or that physical ailiment. It was in fact his first real time away from either home (parents are divorced) and it got to him.
So for three nights we’d sit and talk along with my other assistants. I taught him how to read the night sky, walk in the dark without a flashlight and discuss the days events. Fortunately for me my cell phone at our council camp doesn’t get consistent service, especially in the campsite we were in (gotta love the mountians west of the Shenandoah Valley!) I could honestly tell him, I don’t have service, remind me when we’re down at the main lodge and we’ll try to get you a call home. Invariably he’d get busy and forget.
Wednesday of our week at camp we were cooking our dinner in the campsite and he asked me about a call home. I looked at my cellphone discovered I had 2 bars and he got to make his call. After 25 minutes on the phone with his Dad he gave the phone back to me and we had no more nighttime training sessions. My only lapse was in not talking to Dad ahead of time, but Dad is a pretty smart cookie and hung in there so we didn’t have to worry about him caving and driving the 45 minutes to get him.
This year we’re going to a camp 3 hours away from home and my homesick Scout and I have already had our discussion that in the very unlikely event he gets homesick he’s to wrap it up by 11pm because I want my sleep. I don’t think we’ll have a problem this year, at least with him. Should any others pop-up this year I’ll remember to talk to the parents first before handing over the phone!
This is good advice. I hadn’t considered this problem when I first attended a summer camp with a group of Scouts. I spoke to the parents of our homesick scout and was able to address it just as you’ve suggested. The Scout stayed. I witnessed a Scout in a neighboring camp suffer a complete melt down. The Scout Masters were remarkably patient with a Scout who was yelling and cried himself to sleep. When he awoke the following morning everything was fine for the remainder of the week. It seemed getting through that first night was important. I think those Scout Masters deserved a merit badge however.
I’ve never had a Scout go home from camp. Of course, we are usually at least 600 miles from home 🙂 I’ll bet you never sent any Scouts home from Switzerland or Canada?
Clarke,
This compendium of summer camp preparation should be an annual event, if it is not already! I find 99% of your writings to be spot on or challenging me to think anew, with rare differences of opinion. I only have 6 years of experience with Scouts and homesickness, and usually work a boy through it as you describe above. But. Calls home, and especially the clandesdine call home on the bootleg cell phone, have proven detrimental to the Scout and Troop in almost every case. We never say never to a call, but try to get the Scout busy so the idea fades. We never tell parents how to parent, but some don’t learn to trust that the program works until after their son comes back from camp. And that heartbroken ‘I want to come home’ call melts many a parent’s resolve to help his/her son grow up.
Best not to have that call at all, if you can possibly avoid it.
Prep the parent beforehand if you can’t.
I don’t just hand the Scout a phone and tell him to call home. I talk to mom or dad first so I can explain the situation out of the Scout’s earshot and tell parents that he’s upset and homesick. I tell them the best thing they can do from my standpoint is to tell him they will see him Saturday that everything will be fine and that he can call again in a day or too to keep them apprised of the situation if he wants.
Cell phones have made this much easier since I don’t have to wait for the camp phone.
This approach is based on prepping parents of first year Scouts and letting them know what we do if a boy is homesick. I honestly haven’t had seriously homesick boys at camp for several years now, but having them call home has made things better not worse.
Any boy that wants to call home
will
find a way (I have had that happen before the advent of cell phones) so I’d much rather have them call after I have spoken with their parents.
In 28 years at camp 2 boys went home because of homesickness and in both cases they got to the phone (pre-cellphone days) before I did.